Saturday, April 24, 2010

Marathon Training (again)

So, here I go again. I trained (although not as I should've) and ran the LA Marathon on Sunday March 21,2010 however I didn't finish. A marathon plays so many mental games with your head if you allow it to. I ran alone ,and like so many other things in life I felt lonely and sad. I allowed myself to even think that I might not be able to finish after all and that was it ,in my head I was defeated.

So ,I'll recall my first marathon experience. I was very excited at the Start to be doing something so amazing, the course was beautiful (what I saw of it ) so many things to see, it was awesome ! At about mile 5 I met this awesome man named Willard who was also running for the Parkinson's Foundation, this was his 25th marathon (a legacy runner) ,we ran together for about a mile and then I HAD to go to pee (uggh!) I waited in line for the port o potty about 10 minutes and I wasn't able to catch up to Willard ... I never saw him again :( . Then at Mile 15 ish I met a woman who was dehydrated and in so much pain. She said this was her first marathon and she decided to do it because she just turned 50 years old and so she got up one morning and registered (without a single day of training) . We were pre warned that they would start shutting down the course for anyone slower than a 13 minute mile pace and at Mile 15 I saw them start tearing down the course , that was such a horrible feeling. Mile 15 was the very last water station I saw , and thanks to my good friend Oki for giving me a water bottle at Mile 15 and to the very nice guy at that water station that filled it up w Gatorade I was able to continue the next 5 miles. At about mile 18 they asked us (me and the people around me) to go onto the sidewalk, and then we saw the herd of street sweepers cleaning up. At one point I was off the course , I had no idea where to go and I remember I kept looking back to see if I was the last one ( I WASN'T - Thank God) there were still tons of people behind me so I couldn't understand how we would all survive. There were kids from Students Run LA that were dehydrated and limping , ladies who were determined to walk to the finish line even though they were in pain . I called Oscar (my hubby) at mile 18 and asked him to Please pick me up , I couldn't go on any longer... he told me I could do this but at the point I was so mentally defeated that I couldn't fathom the idea of going any longer. He told me he was at mile 20 and at that moment I mentally checked out! I arrived to mile 20 devastated, I was crying as I asked him to please take me home. I felt like such a failure ! When I saw my kiddos they asked me if I won and I told them No I didn't :( . No matter what I couldn't be proud of myself , I had failed at my intended goal. Now , I can say I'm happy I trained and ran . I still feel like a failure , but I know that with training and dedication I will succeed !! :D

So Now, I'll be starting marathon training once again.... I'm planning on running the Long Beach Marathon on October 17,2010 (I'm determined to finish a marathon in 2010) . This time training will be different and much more hard core, physically as well as mentally. So wish me luck, pray for me, send well wishes ,light a candle whatever works as I start my 6 month journey on Monday !

P.S. SPECIAL THANKS TO MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND FOR BEING THERE AND CHEERING FOR ME AT MILE 13,14 AND 20, YOUR UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT IS AMAZING ,I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! CHELA AND OKI YOU GUYS ROCK...THANKS FOR BEING THERE AT MILE 13 AND FOR WALKING TO MILE 15 WITH ME YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME !!!

....AND TO MY FRIENDS THAT FINISHED AND GOT THAT SWEET MEDAL...CONGRATS YOU'RE ALL MY INSPIRATION :D